People think I'm crazy because I see lights. I've seen them all my life. Strange, multicoloured patches of light swirling through the air. The patches are different sizes, some as small as a coin, others as big as a cereal box. All sorts of shapes - octagons, triangles, decagons. Some have thirty or forty sides. I don't know the name for a forty-sided shape. Quadradecagon?

No circles. All of the patches have at least two straight edges. There are a few with curves or semi-circular bulges, but not many.
Every colour imaginable. Some shine brightly, others glow dully. Occasionally a few of the lights pulse, but normally they just hang there, glowing.
When I was younger I didn't know the lights were strange. I thought everybody saw them. I described them to Mum and Dad, but they thought I was playing a game, seeking attention. It was only when I started school and spoke about the lights in class that it became an issue. My teacher, Miss Tyacke, saw that I wasn't making up stories, that I really believed in the lights.

Miss Tyacke called Mum in. Suggested they take me to somebody better qualified to understand what the lights signified. But Mum's never had much time for psychiatrists. She thinks the brain can take care of itself. She asked me to stop mentioning the lights at school, but otherwise she wasn't concerned.

So I stopped talking about the lights, but the damage had already been done. Word spread among the children - Kernel Fleck is weird. He's not like us. Stay away from him.
I never made many friends after that.

My name's Cornelius, but I couldn't say that when I was younger. The closest I could get was Kernel. Mum and Dad thought that was cute and started using it instead of my real name. It stuck and now that's what everybody calls me.
I think some parents shouldn't be allowed to name their kids. There should be a committee to forbid names which will cause problems later. I mean, even without the lights, what chance did I have of fitting in with any normal crowd with a name like Kernel - or Cornelius - Fleck!

We live in a city. Mum's a university lecturer. Dad's an artist who also does some freelance teaching. (He actually spends more time teaching than drawing, but whenever anyone asks, he says he's an artist.) We live on the third floor of an old warehouse which has been converted into apartments. Huge ...

abl ach across actual add addict adventur aeroplan afternoon age ago air allow almost alon alreadi also alway ammo among anyon apart appl aren argu arm around artist ask asleep attent attract automat autopilot avoid away back backfir bad band beam beaten becam bed bedroom believ beneath better big blue blueness bomb book bother box brain bright brilliant build bulg bulli call care castl catchphras caus ceil cereal certainti chanc chang chest children cinema circl circular citi class close closer closest cloth cluster clutter coin colour come comic committe complet concentr concern confus conker connect control convert cool cornelius could couldn coupl cower crazi creat creativ cri crowd curious curl curv cute d dad damag dark deal decagon describ design desper despit destroy didn differ direct discuss disobey distanc distant distract dive divert doesn done dozen drag draw drawer drift dulli ear earli eat edg electr emerg enjoy enough entir escap especi even ever everi everybodi evil eye fabul face fall fear feel feet felt fight figur find finger fire firm first first-rat fist fit five flash fleck flee float floor focus follow food foot forbid forc forgotten forti forty-sid forward four freak free freelanc fresh friend frown full galor game gasp get giant glare glide glow go gone good got gradual greasi great grey group hand hang happen happi hard harder hear heart help high hiss hold hole home horribl horrifi horror hot hour hover huge human ignor imagin imaginari immedi inform inner instead intensifi interest invent invis isn issu jack jag jigsaw join joke jumbl keep kernel kid know lab larg larger last late later laugh launch lazi lean least lectur left leg let librari life light like listen live ll lone loneli loner long look lose lost lot lunch m mad made magic make mani mass massiv matter mean mention mess might mind mine miser miss model moment monster month mouth move much multicolour mum munchkin museum music must name narrow near needl never new news next night nightmar nobodi normal nose noth nowher nutcas obsess occasion octagon ok old older one open ordinari origin other otherwis pablo pain paint pair pale panel parent part particular past patch pattern peopl person picasso pick piec pin place plane plastic play playground pool popular posit press pretend previous problem process programm project psychiatrist pull puls purpos push put quadradecagon qualifi quick rais random rate rave re reach read real realli recent red relax remain rememb rest return right roar room rough round run sad said saw say scare scatter school scrap scream second see seek seen semi semi-circular sensat set sever shape sharp shine shock shop shouldn show sick side signifi sinc sit size skin slot slowli small smooth snake sock solid somebodi someon someth sometim soon sort speak speed spend spoke spread stand stare start stay step still stop stori straight strang stretch structur stuck studi stuf suggest summon sunday surround suspici swear sweat swirl take talk teach teacher team teeth televis tell temporarili tens thing think third thirti thought three time tingl tini togeth tonight touch toward toy train transfix transpar trendi tri triangl true tv twice twin two tyack uncertain unclench understand undon univers unspoken urg us use usual vanish ve voic wail wall wander want warehous warn wash wasn wast watch way wear week weight weird whatev whenev whisper window wish withdraw within without won wonder wooden word work worst wouldn wretch write wrong year younger zombi